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Grades: Celtics 111, Cavaliers 99

Last night’s win over Cleveland is virtually impossible to grade. Completely setting aside the fact that the win was borderline catastrophic to Boston’s lottery odds, the Cavaliers are such a dumpster fire of a team (and such a dumpster fireball of a defense) that they can turn B-grade offense into A+ simply by allowing Kelly Olynyk to drive to the basket uncontested, or by allowing Phil Pressey to trail a play in transition and slam home a put-back dunk.

Hang on, I need to link that put-back dunk (GIF courtesy of @MrTrpleDouble10).

GET ‘EM PHIL.

For the record, it’s not like dunking has come out of nowhere for Pressey.

The crazy thing is that his arms are so short, his head almost HAS to be at the rim for him to throw it down. That’s a lot of athleticism.

Anyway, since the Cavaliers made everyone on the Celtics look like the best-case scenario of themselves, tonight’s grades are simply everyone’s ceiling.

 

Boston Celtics 111 Final
Recap | Box Score
99 Cleveland Cavaliers
Brandon Bass, PF 34 MIN | 7-11 FG | 5-5 FT | 5 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 1 TO | 19 PTS | +10
DAVID WEST!!!1!!!!

Jeff Green, SF 31 MIN | 6-18 FG | 4-6 FT | 8 REB | 2 AST | 1 STL | 2 BLK | 1 TO | 19 PTS | +21
RUDY GAY!!!!!11!!!!

Kelly Olynyk, C 39 MIN | 11-23 FG | 1-1 FT | 12 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 4 TO | 25 PTS | +10
DIRK NOWITZKI!!!!!11!!!!!!

Avery Bradley, PG 31 MIN | 9-15 FG | 2-2 FT | 8 REB | 2 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 25 PTS | +31
RAY ALLEN!!!!!1!!!!!

Phil Pressey, PG 42 MIN | 4-8 FG | 0-0 FT | 5 REB | 13 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 2 TO | 9 PTS | +6
SPUD WEBB WITH RAJON RONDO’S PASSING!!!!!1!!!

Chris Johnson, SF 23 MIN | 2-7 FG | 3-4 FT | 4 REB | 2 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 7 PTS | -13
AVERY BRADLEY!!!!!!1!!1 (In all seriousness, Johnson has been in a bit of a funk offensively lately.)

Joel Anthony, C 22 MIN | 2-5 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 2 BLK | 0 TO | 4 PTS | +5
JOEL ANTHONY(‘s ceiling is just Joel Anthony)!!!!

Chris Babb, SG 18 MIN | 1-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 2 REB | 1 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 3 PTS | -10
AN NBA CONTRACT FOR A FULL SEASON!!!!!1!!!!!

Follow Tom on Twitter: @Tom_NBA.

  • Eric

    Yay for grades! And the “ceiling” idea is very entertining.

    But while we’re going there, why not go all the way? Avery Bradley is not merely RAY ALLEN!!!!!! He’s RAY ALLEN WITH BRUCE BOWEN’S DEFENSE!!!!!!!

    • Tom Westerholm

      TRUE. I’m upset with myself…that’s a missed opportunity.

    • Joe

      Minus the Bruce lee kick*

  • hydrobromic

    jeff green was more effective than rudy gay last season! his real ceiling is more like TRACY MCGRADY!!!!!

  • James Patrick

    Fine time for this team to go on a winning streak. If we don’t get in the top 5 picks, this season was a bust in more ways than one.