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Danny Ainge Should Teach A Spin Class

 

General managers in the NBA always have to talk with a certain degree of care. Fortunately, we can translate most of Danny Ainge’s quotes at this point, and after Ainge talked to Toucher and Rich today on 98.5 The Sports Hub (Via: CBS Boston) and deposited some gems, we have some interpretations for you. So let’s get down to the good stuff.

QUOTE:

“I don’t like to address rumors, but there is just not a lot of integrity in the media. I don’t believe there is a source close to the team that said that.”

TRANSLATION:

“I’m don’t like to talk about rumors, but when they are probably true, I don’t like it when someone from the team leaked them. Also: Note how I’m not denying any of them.”

QUOTE:

“I believe there is a lot of things that are made up today in the desperate world of competition in the media. I don’t want to throw every media person under the bus; there are some great people in the media with a great deal of integrity.”

TRANSLATION: 

“Look! A distraction!”

QUOTE:

“But there is so much garbage, and someone close to the Celtics would never say that.”

TRANSLATION:

“I trust my guys not to leak these rumors to the media. It must have been the Knicks. More like the New York Narcs, amirite?”

QUOTE:

“Those kind of rumors can be damaging and they start a lot of talk that is unnecessary and wastes a lot of time. There are so many people out there I don’t even know who half these guys are.”

TRANSLATION:

“You idiots screwed things up for us this summer with the Doc Rivers trade. I mean…WE HAD IT. We had it worked out. YOU screwed it up. YOU kept blabbing. YOU kept saying ‘You can’t trade a coach.’

Thanks a lot, jerks.”

QUOTE (from CBS Boston):

Ainge again stated he has no interest in trading point guard Rajon Rondo, and said he’s received less phone calls about a potential trade (involving any of his players) than last season.

TRANSLATION: 

“Maybe if I tell you guys I’m not trading Rondo, James Dolan will stop calling me asking me how I feel about Andrea Bargnani and Chris Smith (SPOILER ALERT JAMES: I DON’T LIKE THEM). Also, I’ve received fewer phone calls about my guys this year because people don’t want them as much. Anyway, Wallace and Humphries for Stoudemire? Totally not a thing that my staff is talking to the media about, although I can’t say anything about the New York Narcs. Nothing to see over here folks.”

Follow Tom on Twitter: @Tom_NBA.

  • Yogi

    This is fun! Let me try.

    "Tom Westerholm: Danny Ainge should teach a spin class."

    Translation: I have nothing worthwhile to contribute as I have neither knowledge nor ability. I will instead twist someone else's words into my own personal narrative to seek attention.

    How did I do?

    • GowGow

      Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

  • skeeds

    Come on really? You spin the words of someone to prove they're being dishonest? Guys, we're not following the Hub to get snide remarks and hints of hints of hints of Ainge wanting to trade Rondo. We can get that from watching sports center.
    So please spare us the fake drama!

  • hax

    In other news, the Bobcats desperate for a big 3 of their own have traded a 2014 1st round pick to the Celtics for GM Danny Ainge.

    "Our GM's haven't really done anything for us this last decade so it's about time we got someone who can wheel and deal with the best of them." -Michael Jordan

    Vitor Faverani will replace Ainge, making him Center, General Manager, and President of Operations of the Boston Celtics. We asked how he felt about the promotion.

    "I'm still learning English, please ask me again next year."
    We then asked who he would try to get.
    "Well if the Knicks can trade sherbert for that dreadlocks guy, I guess Pressey for Chris Paul and another 2014 1st round pick."
    Good luck with that, Vitor.
    "Thank you."

    The Celtics say Paul Pierce will take over once he retires from playing, which due to the Nets being coached by some 40 year old bald guy who has never coached before…could be any day now.

  • dslack

    Dude, really? Homophobia?

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