|Paul Pierce, SF 42 MIN | 5-11 FG | 13-13 FT | 10 REB | 3 AST | 24 PTS | -5Depressing waste of a solid Pierce game on offense, especially the 13 made free throws. Pierce was a total masochist in this one. He went straight up Fifty Shades of Grey. But his teammates let him down, and when they look at his bruises it should remind them of their own failures.|
|Brandon Bass, PF 27 MIN | 2-12 FG | 4-4 FT | 5 REB | 0 AST | 8 PTS | -9Oh, right. Regression to the mean.|
|Kevin Garnett, PF 41 MIN | 9-20 FG | 2-2 FT | 11 REB | 0 AST | 20 PTS | -7KG decided the offensive paint was hot lava tonight and didn’t set foot in it. 20 shots, not a single one closer than 10 feet. You’re a center now, Kevin. I know Spencer Hawes gets to shoot only jumpers, but his parents both work so he gets away with more than you do. Go inside.|
|Ray Allen, SG 26 MIN | 4-11 FG | 0-0 FT | 3 REB | 0 AST | 9 PTS | -4Ray Allen has a tiny little knife in his ankle. That’s basically what a bone spur is. Every time he goes up to shoot, he gets stabbed with it. Every lateral step he takes to stay in front of Lou Williams: stabbed. He needs to sit more and shoot less, because he’s just not reliable on either end. On the bright side, at this point I could see Mike Breen fixing a Celtics-Spurs Finals just for the jokes he could make.|
|Rajon Rondo, PG 43 MIN | 4-14 FG | 1-2 FT | 9 REB | 6 AST | 9 PTS | -4That’ll show the coaches who voted him second team All-Defense. Nobody tells Rajon Rondo what he can and can’t do. NOBODY.
Rondo’s alter-ego Rojan Rando dressed tonight, bringing with him all the classic elements of a Rando game (poor shooting, gambling on the perimeter, sloppy turnovers, avoiding contact, becoming sleepy) as well as a new one in the form of not finding his teammates. Rando, you crazy freak! What are we gonna do with you?!
|Ryan Hollins, C 11 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-2 FT | 5 REB | 3 AST | 0 PTS | -6Ryan Hollins brings the valuable skill set of having six personal fouls. You can’t teach that.|
|Mickael Pietrus, SF 35 MIN | 2-6 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 1 AST | 5 PTS | 0Pietrus needs to take over Ray’s role so he can defend either Evan Turner, Jrue Holiday, or Lou Williams at all times. The game’s been over for a half-hour and Ray is still trying to catch up to Lou Williams on the drive. I wouldn’t even hate putting Pietrus on Iggy and switching Pierce over to Turner. But before the next game, Doc needs to call Pietrus into his office (along with the candle from Beauty and the Beast to serve as interpreter) and order him to stop chucking and start cutting.|