Post-game Reactions

Interested in knowing what would happen if Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh didn’t suit up for a Celtics/Heat game? A large part of me wishes I didn’t live long enough to witness it, but, unfortunately, I did. As you read what I’ve wrote, please keep in mind that absolutely none of it is fiction. All of this actually happened.

  • The Celtics scored their first two points on a spinning Paul Pierce jumper with 5:45 left in the first quarter.
  • There were 11 turnovers between both teams before the Celtics scored a single point.
  • Marquis Daniels wore some seriously awesome neon sneakers. I spent most of the first quarter google searching for a modestly priced pair. Size 10.
  • With 3:02 left in the first quarter, Miami led by a scintillating score of 13-6. Paul Pierce had five turnovers.
  • Avery Bradley continues to exude fearlessness in attacking the basket. Late in the first quarter he tried to throw down on Joel Anthony, one of the fiercest shot blockers in the league. Unsurprisingly he was harshly rejected, but sometimes it’s the thought that counts.
  • Quick summation of the first quarter: Miami led 17-10. That’s right, the Celtics scored 10 points. Paul Pierce finished the frame with four points. He was the team’s leading scorer. There were 18 total turnovers between both teams—11 from Miami and seven from Boston. The Celtics shot 23.5% from the floor (4-17) and were an utter embarrassment to all things that obey the laws of cohesion and orderliness.
  • We began the second quarter with Sean Williams attempting his first free-throw in a Celtics uniform. It hit the top of the backboard. However, a lane violation was called on Juwan Howard (a mistake he NEVER would’ve made if it were still 1991), and Williams was granted another chance. He clanged it in.
  • The Celtics took their first lead of the game on a corner three from Keyon Dooling. It made the score 18-17 with a little under eight minutes remaining in the second quarter.
  • It took James Jones 45 seconds to become the game’s leading scorer when he knocked down two consecutive three pointers midway through the second quarter. Once again, everything I’ve written actually took place.
  • Curling around a screen just a few possessions later, Jones elbowed Dooling in the eye, causing it to bleed like a boxer’s. Before Dooling was whisked back to the locker room and given a gigantic band-aid, the two were given large pitch forks and instructed to fight to the death. (Just kidding. Wanted to make sure everyone’s still paying attention.)
  • With three minutes left in the half, Mike “My rollerblades are so cool, right guys?” Miller drove to the hole, finishing with a nifty left-handed finger roll on the right side of the basket. Nobody impeded his progress, yet the ball fell through the hoop with 2:48 on the clock.
  • At halftime, the Heat led 34-28. The Celtics bumped their shooting accuracy up to a fearsome 32.4%. There were 23 turnovers between both teams, and Miami went 0-1 from the free-throw line. (For reference: the Kings led the Thunder 59-57 at the half in their respective game that took place on a more entertaining channel.)
  • Looking for some good news—and actual basketball—I flipped to the Hawks-Clippers game during halftime, just in time to catch this exchange between Atlanta’s announcing duo:

Announcer #1: “They’re at halftime over in Boston right now, where the Heat are winning by a score of 34-28.”

Announcer #2: “Oh boy…”

Announcer #1: “I believe a 24 second shot clock is being used?”

  • Fun stuff.
  • Once the second half started, it didn’t even take a full minute before Bradley embarrassed Mario Chalmers with an in and out crossover. Unquestionably the highlight of the game, in my opinion.
  • Nothing interesting happened for a while.
  • INTERESTING ALERT: The game was tied 50-50 after the third.
  • Midway through the final quarter, Sasha Pavlovic ripped his jersey off, raised his arms to the rafters, and screamed “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?” at nobody in particular. He also went 5-6 from the floor (finishing with a game high 16 points) and spearheaded a 14-4 Celtics run that effectively put the game away.
  • Ryan Hollins played 25 minutes and was the only Celtic held scoreless.
  • In related news, the Celtics had four (!!) offensive rebounds.
  • An ugly win is a win just the same. If the Celtics beat the Bucks on Thursday night, and the Hawks lose to Dallas, the two teams will finish with the same record, but with the tiebreaker in their back pocket Boston will get home court advantage. Good times all around.

Twitter: @ShakyAnkles

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Michael Pina

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  • someguyinsac

    Sometimes the ugly duckling turns out to be a beautiful swan at the end. This was one of those times that it happened that way.

  • outbeyond

    That was funny!

  • Switcharoo

    Laughing my ass off here! Man it sounds like I missed quite a show. At halftime it was 28 to 34 MIA yet over in the SAC ,Thunder game The Kings had 59 Pts at the mid-point and I was just shaking my head wonderIng what kind of game I was missing.
    Sasha really did that? ROTFL!!!
    Well can at least check out the (hehehe) highlights

    Oh and your write up is funny as hell, one of the funnier posts I have read on this site….good stuff

  • Switcharoo

    Dang! Nice picture of the Boshtrich

  • dslack

    Did Pavs really rip off his shirt and yell?

    • JR99

      No (Mike just decided that one wasn't worth a 'just kidding').

  • NICK33

    I want grades!!!


  • High Rollers

    Don't act like you didn't enjoy that, MP.

    Paul stank it up a bit at times, but I think it's good he played. Rust from one game off. Let's not imagine any more. His two-hander through the lane was nice.

    'Quis didn't get enough props for this one. Doc told him, "Lead them." And he did. He and Sasha put the exclamation point on this odd contest.

    Against both Atlanta and Miami, our reserves have still played Celtics' D. I'm always worried that without KG our D will suffer mightily. I think it's really seeped into the company men at this point. Good thing to know going into the playoffs.

  • Anthony

    Luckily I missed the 1st half. But there were a lot of positives besides the W.

    * Even our 2nd and 3rd units know they can beat MIA
    * It wasn't pretty but S. Williams, JJJ, Etwaun played with a lot of energy
    * Quis and Sasha are very capable back-ups for Pierce, MP, and Ray
    * AB has pretty good crossover move

    On side note, Clippers proved useless and it's official now – CP3 is not as good as Rondo. So what he can shoot better? He had 34 and 8 and can't help his team win in a key game for the division. I'll take Rondo's 12 and 14 any day. Also for all of you who overrated Deandre Jordan, he had a -17 against Jason Collins. Wonder if the Clips regret matching the $43 mil 4 year contract extension. If only he was playing with the best PG in the league.

  • ElRoz

    As Doc says, its nice to win and KEEP THE PRESSURE ON ATLANTA TO HAVE TO WIN – i.e. play Johnson, Smith, and Teague their last game…the same way they played these guys tonight as well. Johnson and Smith have played more minutes this season than any Celtic.

    IF Dallas can in in Atlanta, Boston should step on the gas a little and try to win against the Bucks.

    Nice to see Marquis and Sasha get some time and action…along with Dooling, Boston is going to need these guys if Ray Allen cannot go..or if Pietrus is not healing fast enough.

  • Switcharoo

    Is there a clip of Sasha going nuts, I think that would be funny to see, not as funny as the grades though.

    • JR99

      There was not the slightest glimmer of going nuts. As usual, Sasha's face barely moved.

  • lucidsportsfan

    Celts used a 42-14 run to turn a 46-36 deficit into a 78-60 lead. Most of it happening with the same 5 bench guys playing the entire 4th. Miami should feel embarrassed today http://www.lucidsportsfan.com/2012_04_01_archive….

  • Gos

    Love the Gladiator reference…

    “Are you not entertained?!”

    Classic. Pavs will do a Nate Robinson in the playoffs and light up a game or two.

    • misel

      i thought you were gonna say, "pavs will do a nate robinson and flap his arms after hitting a 3"… =))

  • noche

    I was at the game last night. The crowd was as quiet as I've seen since the days of Vitaly Potopenko or Ricky Davis. At least back then we had Waltah McCahty to get us excited.

    Speaking of Vitaly – I remember being at a game and he was wide open on the right elbow for a jumper and as he squared up to shoot the entire crowd yelled NO!!!! So he pump faked and traveled instead.

    • CG12

      thank you for that awesome Potapenko anecdote. Had me chuckling in my office.

    • Josh

      Hahahahaha noche! This comment just made my week!

  • CG12

    I definitely agree with the general sentiment that this game, while meaningless in the big picture, was still really nice for several reasons.

    1. Cs will likely to continue to rest their dinged up guys, while the Hawks will likely go all out to win their last game. They really, really want home court.
    2. Great to see the potential deep bench contributors get some meaningful minutes and respond with strong play. Sasha and Marquis both had very good games and made the difference between losing and winning. None of the other deep bench guys are remotely capable of coming in a making an impact on a game. Marquis has had a tough season, just couldn't get it going. Sasha has been rock-solid all year long, even though his minutes have been all over the place. You could do sooooo much worse than them for your 5th and 6th wing players.
    3. Miami's non-Wuss 3 players really stink. Haslem and Miller used to be good. They aren't any more. Chalmers is a first team trick-or-treater. Norris Cole is not the guy who scorched the Cs earlier in the year. Other than a really horrible first quarter and a James Jones 3-point spurt, the Cs reserves absolutely pummeled the Heat scrubs last night. Miami just doesn't scare me. At all.

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