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Three Common Misconceptions Regarding the Trade Machine

The funnest thing about a team that’s lost four of five games is dragging out the Trade Machine to save the day. Fittingly, the comments in the wake of the last two losses were peppered with trades for the likes of Andrea Bargnani, Marcus Camby, and (inevitably) Dwight Howard. But most of the trades have been…pretty disappointing, from a reality standpoint. With the exception of one that had the Celtics giving up Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen and ending up with Howard and LeBron James, I was mostly uninspired by them.

For the future, here are a few frequent Trade Machine pitfalls to avoid.

1. Pretending “Jermaine O’Neal, Keyon Dooling, Sasha Pavlovic, and Avery Bradley” is a trade package.

This is probably the most common ridiculous trade type we’re seeing lately, because it allows the trader to get rid of four players nobody cares about by operating under the assumptions that four players is always better than one. This is very false. No team wants any of these players individually; why would they want all four of them at the same time?

Each of those guys can potentially be thrown in to a trade to make salaries work, or because Pavlovic and Bradley are best friends and have a together-forever clause in their contracts. Otherwise, in the words of an eighth grader performing with his band in a school talent show in 1994: “You gotta keep ’em separated.”

2. Trading Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, or Kevin Garnett to lottery teams.

Imagine being Danny Ainge. You already do, so keep doing it. Mavs GM Donnie Nelson calls you up and is all, “Dan-naaaay! Heard you guys were thinking about rebuilding. How about J-Kidd for Rondo?” You can hear the gum smacking around in his mouth. How does that make you feel? It doesn’t make you feel good, does it?

That’s exactly what you’re doing when you offer Ray Allen for Andrea Bargnani, except worse. If the Celtics rebuild, they want to go younger. That’s why they’d be getting rid of Pierce, Allen, or Garnett in the first place. Rebuilding teams do not want old players. Especially not in exchange for their best player, as is very frequently suggested.

3. Trading for Dwight Howard.

Rajon Rondo is the only Boston player who the Magic would possibly accept in a Dwight Howard deal (and probably not even him). Dwight would only come to Boston if Rondo were there. By trying to trade for Dwight Howard, you potentially create a timespace-rending paradox. Don’t do it.

All three of those guidelines fall under this giant Umbrella Guideline: Just because the Trade Machine calls your trade “Successful!” does not mean an opposing GM saw it and signed off on it. I’m honestly not sure if some people are aware of that sometimes.

But the Trade Machine is still a valuable resource! There are plenty of options out there! You can trade Rajon Rondo for anyone except about 15 players. You can trade ¬†any of the Big Three to a competitive team that needs one more piece to get over the top. Or you can trade some of the Celtics’ younger assets (Bass, JaJuan Johnson, Moore or Bradley to a very limited extent) for some positional help from mid-level players.

Danny Ainge announced today that the Celtics are “not a team that we feel like is a contending team” and he’s always thinking about different moves to get better. The Trade Machine is more relevant now than ever before. Please take care of it.

  • I_Love_Green

    Yes. YES. THANK YOU Hayes.

    • CelticsBIG3

      Also no more talking about stupid trades to pick up Andray Blatche or a bunch of other cruddy a$$holes.

  • JuanCarlosofEvian
    • hdavenport

      Intensely legit.

      • Cg12

        Seriously. Kyle Lowery would be awesome for this team.

    • I_Love_Green

      I'll take it.

  • High Rollers

    FYI… just posted a comment that subsequently disappeared.

  • Batman

    Also no posting trades that have Hasheem Thabeet coming to Boston

    • janos

      HI Batman!!

      • Batman

        Hey Janos
        Not fun watching us lose right?

  • jesus shuttersworth

    TRADE J.O. FOR MICHAEL BEASLEY, THERE CONTRACTS ARE THE SAME, MOVE KG TO CENTER AND BEASLEY TO PF. …………………..GET BEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Eric

      Yeah, the Timberwolves are desperate for a center to back up Kevin Love, Nikola Pekovic, and Darko.

  • PJ Gaudie

    With the picture, I actually thought we might henceforth be referring to Danny Ainge as "The Trade Machine" :)

  • C's Bball Fan

    That picture of Danny Ainge is mad weird.

  • ElRoz

    Well, one thing they could do is trade the big three in return for draft picks …but also it probably would be necessary to NOT make the playoffs and get an additional lottery pick as well. That would hurt…and I'd hate to see Ray and KG get traded instead of finishing the year with the team.

    If the big three finishes the year together, then that's the 2nd best option…but the first above would not only free up salary but would also get them 2 top 10 picks in all likelihood for 2012-2013…then you got some good talent and money to sigh people. This is the most painful step from pride and sentiment perspective…but probably puts Boston in the best position for 2012-2013 than any other option.

  • janos

    HI Haynes is Janos
    I seen very funny sni showweekend yesterday, waynes world . you should renames sites haynesworld . coms and have format same. party on bryan, party on rick. Is very funny one.
    for game like boston return favors beat pitsons 99, rondos lead way usual.

  • sightline75

    Ah Janos, if only i knew what it was you said. Forget trading to get better straight away. All the teams in the playoff picture are either set, dont want our players or have their own trade issues. Danny probably waited one year too long to pull the trigger, last years playoffs sent a messaage to every GM in the league. The big three are too old to be cornerstones, they are now complimentary players(except maybe for PP) and as such there values have gone down.

    • sightline75

      And every GM knows Danny wants to move one now, so its a buyers market. KG can help a contender win chapionship, but only for this year, at a cost of 20 million, so who has VERY deep pockets and need for a great defensive PF for a playoff run? And Ray help a team dominating the paint to spread the floor and drop threes. PP can be the second best player on most contenders, or can he? They have to get into another teams system and learn the way they play in a few months, this could disrupt a contender if you trading your third best player out for one of these guys. KG always says it about chemistry and how the team bonds that create a great team. And they dont know if its going to work. And trading for an older player, like Rondo for Nash + whoever, means all of Bostons chips are on the table for this year! There is nothing in the cupboard for next year, period. Only a miracle can save this season. Is it better to lose now and be better in 2 years, or die a slow death and have 5,6 or 7 bad seasons.

      • sightline75

        Its hard to win a championship, how many good teams with great players never win one at all. I say blow it up, trade for a first rounder for next year or players you can trade for a first rounder. And then pray for the best because next years draft may have the next Kobe, LBJ or KD.

  • VK28

    once upon a time rondo said he's the best point in the game, u know what, i believe him, stop include him in trade suggestions..

  • morey

    Trade Rondo for a Center like Cousins or Howard, TRADE RONDO

    • DJH

      Do you need eyeglassses?–Rondo should NOTbe traded

  • noche

    What happened to my post?

  • Jow

    deleted my post.. I didn't think it was that bad, def. better than some that are left up

  • FanSaloon NBA Daily Fantasy Rewind

    Friday night was a very very productive night for daily fantasy NBA. We had several high scoring nights which meant good high scoring games at FanSaloon.com. Kobe Bryant put up a ridiculous 58 daily fantasy points last night. On most nights that is enough to carry a daily fantasy team to victory, but not on Friday. Read More – http://blog.fansaloon.com/2012/02/fansaloon-nba-d

  • I_Love_Green

    We're gettin smacked by the god damn Pistons right now.

    • Batman

      Michael Jordan aka Rodney Stuckey has 11 FTs
      We are getting embarrassed

  • ripsonics

    Soooo…. When Doc said he liked what he was seeing from this team, I am trying to figure out what exactly he saw that he liked. Only good thing is Wilcox. Everything else looks awful.

    • DJH

      What about Bass–since Day 1 he has made an impact.

      • ripsonics

        Yes. You are right. I LOVE bass. And we definitely miss him, but against the pistons?? Come on. Plus wilcox has stepped up BIG TIME in his absence. I just dont understand this team. I feel as if Rondo's mentality has taken over them all and that is bad.

        Sorry.. i just really don't like rondo.

  • someguyinsac

    So is the open thread game widget broken too?

  • Batman

    HAHAHHAHAHA glad Rondo got ejected now he can sit in the locker room and not have himself be embarrassed by how much Doc misuses him

  • ripsonics

    this is ridiculous. the refs arent doing a very good job tonight, but regardless. Please do something about this team, it is getting difficult to watch, and we are about to be tied with New York for 8th seed – keep in mind how much better NY is playing than we are, winners of 8 of the last ten. We are riding a 3 game losing streak.

    I don't even care if we play well for one game. If we don't starting beating teams we are supposed to beat, then this season is worthless.

  • DJH

    Last time I checked, we live in a democracy–yet the referees SUCK-and nothing done about it. Mark Cuban gets fined $75K for expressing his opinion on the referees–I know that is chump change–the refs were bad enough last year, and this year worse. Just venting

  • guest

    This team is just god awful now. Blow it up. Get rid of everyone except Rondo and Wilcox at this rate.

    • ripsonics


      trade rondo, keep everyone else.

      • Batman

        enjoy years of mediocrity if we go down your route

        • ripsonics

          oh batman… not if we get someone of equal talent and age. That way, we won't go down that route.

  • CelticsBIG3

    That was rough to watch. Rondo was obviously got trucked on that drive but you don't throw the ball at the ref… That was stupid

    • Batman

      he obviously wanted out

  • Morpheus

    Damn, this sucks. Danny needs to make moves. Not to save the season, but to save the fans from torture…lol.

  • Tos

    Cant wait to see what Danny decides to do. I foresee TWO big trades.

  • rolltide3332

    I'm with ElRoz. I hate it, but time to go for draft picks. Lose badly and get a top 10 pick in a deep draft. Have extra for a superstar or 2. Keep Rondo and look for the near future

  • Rebuild

    Rondo + JaJuan + 2nd round pick for Derrick favours + Devin Harris and the 1st round pick (from golden state) Jazz get top 5 PG to go with their talented front court making them a solid play-off team and an athletic project PF. Boston get PF with tremendous upside decent PG for the rest of the year and a lotto pick in a very talented and deep draft. Risky but better than staying a mid level team for the next 4,5,6-10 years