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Training Camp Eve

 

Tomorrow starts Celtics training camp and fans of all shapes and sizes are starting to get excited.  Most people have kept an ear to the ground this offseason and are well aware of all the moves Danny Ainge has pulled off to make this team look the way it does.  A small select few out there completely missed the boat on all this news.  One such fan is my buddy Flynn.

Flynn reached such a level of despair after Game 7, he forgot what a basketball was this summer.

Now before you all go crazy and chase him out of Boston like he’s Frankenstein’s monster, there are a few things you have to know.  Flynn was a little busy this summer.  He ran a very successful summer camp in our hometown, he was taking extra courses to finish up his degree, and he became a certified EMT- which is not easy for a reason.

At any rate, with all the media buzz around the area today, even Flynn caught wind of everything that has happened this summer and decided to send me an email.  Oh, and did I mention he’s hilarious?

The following has been edited for your safety and sanity:

Dear Brendan,

First and for most, I would like to preface this email with acknowledging my utter and complete ignorance of the Celtics this offseason.

As I sit in the commuter cafeteria, diligently procrastinating doing my neuropsych homework, I said to myself, “hey big guy, why not check out them there Celtics lineup!?”

We have Jermaine O’Neal and Shaq? How in the sweet mother of God did that happen?

Somehow Delonte West has gotten back to Beantown and is threatening to [disrupt team chemistry] due to his incessant need to [do things that may disrupt team chemistry].

I see a Mr. Nate Robinson will be joining us again for some small (pun intended) time comedy and emotion always coupled well with Glen Davis’ aggressive salivating that makes Pavlov’s dog look tame.

Allen, Garnett and Pierce are still the cats [meow] clearly, and god damn Perk decided to sit the next few games out.  Why doesn’t he put his big boy pants on, follow the untraceable root of Wes Welker and just smoke HGH morning noon and night and get back to the court (probably untrue but I don’t know how else he did it).

Rookies: lets talk about them.  Avery Bradley, Semih Erden (apparently he’s international?) and Luke Harangody.  Who the [hell]?

As I sit here in awe of all the changes, my sincerest concern is to the whereabouts of a Mr. Scalabrine.  We officially have no white people unless the international guy is white, and I have a sneaky suspicion that he may be.

Figured I’d share my thoughts/ramblings with someone other then other voices in my head.

Flynn

As you can see, everyone is excited for this season.  The Celtics, on paper, are stacked and training camp starts tomorrow.  This means that we actually get to find out what this team is made of aside from how Shaq describes their pickup games.

Flynn’s letter proves three things: 1) he really hasn’t been paying attention this offseason; 2) he hasn’t read this blog at all; and 3) the NBA is back.

So, thanks Flynn. 

And for the record:  Brian Scalabrine is in training camp with the Chicago Bulls and Luke Harangody and Semih Erden are white- not that I see color.

  • http://yahoo shut_it_up.

    Scaringly, I just started watching Russell Brand’s , um,
    “komedy”
    and all i could hear for Flynn’s voice was Russell.
    notice how i spelled his name awl korect.

  • http://Aol.com Matthew

    Lol, your buddy Flynn is comedy. I love wit with dry biteing sarcasm. Seriously if I wasn’t such a celtics/Basketball whore I would have taken the off season off too. I watch all the games I can during the regular season and all games in the playoffs. In 08 season I watched every single game…presaeson through finals. In this past seasons game seven I was in LA at a celtics/Boston bar and I’ve told this story b4 but let’s just say it ends badly and I kinda assult a LA news camera man trying to film the broken hearted celtics fans….anywho had I not pay’d attention at all I think I might feel kinda lost….who did we drAft? (actually I scouted (on paper) on my own so I know, but just sayn)
    why did we resign Nate and quizy?
    Delonte? Thought he was in prison or a mental institution?
    Ah sweet we resigned Ray and Paul!
    BOTH O’Neals!?!??? (side note only O’neals in NBA history and
    we got’em both….take that lakers!)
    Scal’s gone…..sad but expected…..he is no Leon powe! Still miss that guy!
    Von Wafer? Didnt he play in the NBA like two or 3 years ago? Was he in hiding or the witness protection program or sumthing since then?
    Our team is reloaded and looks poised to recapture the east title and get another shot at the lakers.

  • BlahblahblahMarquisDaniels

    Season Prediction:

    Cs start off not as strong as last year… but end stronger… ending with a final record of 57-17, good for the 2nd seed

    Grueling Postseason pits Boston v LA rematch… hopefully we’ll have homecourt and another banner

  • K.C.

    I have the Celtics finishing 64-18.

  • deon jackson

    man they all weak i can buss dey butt n im da greatest @ diz game so i d gt hav 2 watch basketball

  • Steve

    deon jackson says: big bang clock

  • JasonT

    My prediction is 60 wins, at least.

  • ilaykarabay

    Semih is a very cute white,i also see no color:):)

  • Jeff

    Okay I just read the piece by Forsberg about the Media day in Boston, and after hearing the C’s comments, especially PP, I now know for a certainty that the C’s will win!

    All offseason, since the C’s wrapped up their signings, I have been havingthe feeling of 2008 all over again. I knew the C’s were going to win then and I know it now. I don’t have gutt feelings that are wrong.

    LA fans, MIA fans and anyone else with championship hopes this season can mark my words down now and revisit them later…C’s have already won.

    Just start preparing for next year, cuz this years already done. Welcome Banner 18 baby!!!

  • I love Green

    Flynn didn’t mention Avery Bradley. What the hell. Brendan, e mail your boy back a video of AB. He’ll have tears of joy at the beast that is Avery Bradley.

  • http://www.inweo.pl pozycjonowanie stron

    Your post is very logical.

  • Rangatiratanga

    “Took extra courses to finish up a degree”….hmmm doesn’t sound promising.
    Damn, why is it these white Boston sports writers gotta bring up color.Shame.I can’t recall black sports writers(if there are any, oh yeah David Aldridge, although you might mistake him for being “chocolate”) saying “oh man we got too many black players on our team”. I hope this is the last we hear of Scal ,otherwise i’m thinking one of the Hub sports writers here,definitely has a HOT man crush for him.

  • PR.Dizzle

    If we keep Tony Gaffney, we will have 3 white dudes & win the next title…jk-jk. I don’t care about the color, just the fact that our guys are well conditioned & go all out til the end. We gotta prove all the doubters once again & retain the GOLD this time. We were 5 pts away before having an 18th banner. Now use that as fuel for this season.

  • Rangatiratanga

    4 points PR…..4 points.

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