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Cleveland Columnist Makes Jokes About Celtics

 

Cleveland Plain-Dealer columnist Bud Shaw used a decent portion of his column posted late Wednesday to preview the Celtics-Cavs series. Here are some excerpts:

Pierce left a game in a wheelchair in 2008 ago only to return a little while later. Not a week later. Not even a day later. I mean a few minutes later. Before the quarter ended.

LeeLee Sobieski wasn’t as convincing in “Joan of Arc.”

And:

Kevin Garnett‘s act at this point in his career — think Curly Washburn from “City Slickers” meets Andrew Dice Clay — has lately given Pierce some dramatic competition.

And:

I also believe that Pierce will go down in a heap at least once against the Cavs and ride to the Celtics bench on a siren-equipped Segway.

And:

Mo Williams saying goodbye to Derrick Rose and hello to Rajon Rondo is covered under the “cruel and unusual punishment” clause of the Eighth amendment…

This is not the first time Bud Shaw has used his column in part to provide commentary on the Boston Celtics. He declared them dead in his March 20 column:

The way the Celtics are going, to actually appear ready to pounce come playoff time will require an imaginative taxidermist.

And:

The Celtics are dragging Kevin Garnett up and down the court like the whole bunch of them are auditioning for Weekend at Bernie’s IV.

And:

When the Celtics get in a running game with a more athletic team, they often need IVs administered at halftime.

Four out of five doctors recommend formaldehyde.

And:

Garnett is a proud competitor. But he simply has too many miles on him. Some nights he looks like Keith Richards does most mornings.

Game 1 is tomorrow.

  • Jrmz

    Let noone hassle poor Bud Shaw. Its hard enough working in Cleveland where there never is any sporting achievements to boast about. Where your team leaves you to go to Baltimore and wins a Super Bowl there, where the next team that comes in is a disaster that has never ended and probably never will, where your best pitchers all leave you one after another, where very soon, even your best basketball player is headed elsewhere. So Bud is definitely taking this opportunity to fill his column with as much sports related news as possible because pretty soon, there won’t be much to write on. Heck other guys like Bob Ryan have it easy compared to Bud..3 Super Bowls, 2 World Series, more than a few NBA championships? Bud Shaw would give up his left nut to write columns for Boston teams.

  • Jay P

    Can’t wait to shut this clown up…

  • http://loscy.com LOSCY

    Here are the simple facts:

    * Lebron is going to average a triple double.
    * CLV’s bench is deeper than any other team in the playoffs.
    * CLV plays very well at home.
    * These teams don’t like each other and the play will get chippy.
    * The refs will side with LBJ more than anyone else– yes, worse so than D-Wade.

    Now that those issues are on the table, let’s figure out how to beat the Cavs. Enter Coach Loscy. Here are some talking points:

    * Rondo needs to control the tempo. Whether we are pushing the ball or in a half-court set, it is going to be so crucial for Rondo to make the right decisions. When to play in transition, when to settle. I can’t stress this enough: the entire series could be hinged upon this series of decisions. While it’s scary, at least we all know how important it is to the ebb and flow of team confidence and to the overall feel of the game.
    * Make the Cavs’ big men work. Put them on the line, bump their bodies, and when fouling, foul them hard. No easy baskets for Shaq, Antawn Jamison, Varejao, Big Z, JJ Hickson, or even dare I say Leon Powe. That is a long list of worthy big men. **SIGH**
    * Get Ray Ray started early. Anthony Parker doesn’t have the legs the stay with Ray all night. Get Ray going. Get Ray going. Get Ray going. If the Cavs stick Delonte West on him, then keep running him through double screens: he’s not strong enough to fight through them.
    * Here might be the most important coaching strategy to employ against the Cavs: force the Cavs to play a sloppy game. Make the Cavs play uncomfortable basketball. I have used this block quote in two other posts during these playoffs, and damn it to hell I’ll use it again: “The Celtics are not a finesse team: they won’t execute well on every possession (evident by all of the turnovers). But if the Celtics can continue to play upbeat, scrappy, gritty basketball then they will hopefully bring their opponents down to their level. If the Celtics can force other teams to play in this kind of tempo, then they will beat better teams: such as the Cavs, Magic, or Hawks. All three of those teams are better than the Celtics, but if the good guys can force others to play at their level… then we’ve got a chance at this.” If the Celtics can get the Cavs to play a sloppy game, the Celtics can win this thing. The Celtics may have a win that was just smooth and easy going, but as we’ve seen, this is just more of a gutsy team that will rely on energy and hustle.

  • Tom

    I like Simmons’ idea. Can we start chanting New York knicks when LeBron has the ball :)

  • willybeamin

    guy needs to shave off that creepy mustache… that is filthy.

    what a joke for a real columnist to write a piece like this… there is so much analysis to put into this series (see LOSCY’s post above) that to waste time on dribble like this is pretty silly.

  • What More Can I Say?

    This guy is going in on KG. I can’t wait for saturday.

  • dont_drink_the_koolaid

    his name is bud. he lives in cleveland. he writes for something called a ‘plain-dealer’. he has a moustache.

    i’d be angry at the world too.

    go Cs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.celticshub.com Zach Lowe

    The Plain-Dealer is a good newspaper.

    That is all I will say.

  • Glenn

    Well then, they are clearly doing their journalistic integrity a disservice by continuing to retain this guy on their staff. His jokes aren’t funny… they aren’t even clever, I mean, was there even a Weekend at Bernie’s III?

  • Joel W

    Dear everybody who makes comments about Paul Pierce in the 2008 Finals,

    Remember that time that Paul Pierce got stabbed repeatedly in a night club, and likely would have died had it not been for the leather coat he was wearing? Do you also remember that he played the entire season after recovering for about a month? OK, then STFU about his toughness. Run up on Paul and talk about his toughness.

  • willybeamin

    sorry zach, there are no good newspapers anymore outside of the Times. no one reads them, so they don’t have the funding anymore to support quality investigation or reporting. I worked at the globe and watched that place slowly degrade over the years. if that happens to a paper like the globe there is no way the cleveland plain-delear hasn’t faced a similar fate

  • Jason

    @Joel +infinity.

    In this lifetime, Pierce has nothing to prove in the toughness category. NOTHING. And if BEING STABBED NEARLY TO DEATH isn’t enough for some people, note as far as his NBA career goes, he’s only ever had one extended absence due to injury in his career. Pretty durable, pretty tough, has played through plenty of injuries.

  • adam

    I live in ohio and everything joakim noah said about cleveland is true it sucks! I am a lifelong fan of the celtics and I am tired of being around all these lebron nuthuggers. I dont know one person who liked the cavs until lebron came there. I really hope the C’s kick their ass and lebron plays his last games for cleveland so that the city can go back to what it does best which is LOSING.

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  • DC

    I am a clevelander and would like to let it be known that nobody here cares what Bud Shaw has to say either. Quite frankly, he just isn’t a very good writer.

    Adam,
    If you hate cleveland that much, and you have to live here against your will, what does that say about you? Pretty pathetic existence

  • adam

    I said I live in ohio not cleveland u retard. Been there a couple of times and like Noah said not much goin on. Also had my car broken into and had everything stolen out of it while I was there so go to hell DC.

  • Shiban

    im from akron (but have now lived in nazareth, for a couple years), and ya .. Shaw really does suck, so dont take anything he says seriously…but anyway i dont get why cleveland is hated so much.. ok so its a lame city when u compare it to the ny’s chicago’s and boston’s of the world so what? we’re talkin about sports here people, and even though our city is crap to you people (i actually love it there, no matter what) we still have the best player, and are the favorites until someone knocks us out, so im pretty happy with our situation regardless, we should be talking about how these two teams match up with each other, but whatever

  • Shiban

    anyway looking forward to a hard fought bad-blooded series! can’t wait..

  • http://www.celticshub.com Zach Lowe

    To all visiting Cavs fans: I have nothing against Cleveland, the Plain-Dealer or your sports teams in general. Never visited Cleveland and would like to catch a game at the Jake, if it’s still called Jacobs Field.

    I just felt I should highlight this column. That is all.

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  • legs-diamond

    Loscy has the basic idea. I would add that Rondo and T Allen have to harrass Mo Williams, who is only a mediocre ballhandler. … I may be in a camp of one, but I think Nate Robinson and Shelden Williams shoudl get minutes.

  • Jrmz

    legs-diamond says:
    April 30, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Loscy has the basic idea. I would add that Rondo and T Allen have to harrass Mo Williams, who is only a mediocre ballhandler. … I may be in a camp of one, but I think Nate Robinson and Shelden Williams shoudl get minutes.

    ___________________________________

    You’re in a camp of 1.5. I think Sheldon should get minutes because he is a hustler just like Varejao and he can sure get a coupla jabs into Varejao. But Nate..Its going to be tough to fit Nate in at all. When you have experienced vet Finley and TA already inside the rotation, theres not much room for Nate..let alone Quisy.

  • mitch

    oliver lafayette should get some run, cleveland doesn’t know much about him and the kid can score!

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  • vindaloo

    Not that Celtics fans would think anything more of him for it, but Bud Shaw writes a column called “Shaw’s Spin” for the Plain Dealer — sort of like a local Normal Chad or Bill Simmons. It’s supposed to be funny. Like a lot of written comedy, sometimes it is, other times not.

    Anyway, I wouldn’t get too defensive or worked up over it. Most Cavs fans focus on Brian Windhorst, who’s a real basketball writer and probably won’t be hanging around the PD too much longer. Windhorst uniformly gives the Celtics more credit (even more than they’re due!).

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